Best Mark Twain Quotes About Life
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233 Best Mark Twain Quotes About Life

Mark Twain (Nov 30, 1835 – April 21, 1910) is the author of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. Called “the father of American literature” by many, he was a prolific writer who wrote 28 books, and a vast number of essays, stories, and lectures. One of the most influential writers of America. He wrote books showing glimpses of the late 19th century America, which became classic, national treasures today. No wonder he was declared as the lifeblood of American Literature, as stated by Hemingway.

Are you looking for inspirational, wise, and thought-provoking Mark Twain quotes and sayings? Here’s our collection of Mark Twain quotes that will inspire and help you become the best version of yourself. Enjoy!

Best Inspirational And Motivational Mark Twain Quotes

1

“You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.”

2

“I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can’t find anybody who can tell me what they want.”

3

“Don’t part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.”

4

“The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.”

5

“Ah, well, I am a great and sublime fool. But then I am God’s fool, and all His works must be contemplated with respect.”

6

“A Christian is a person who wants to give up great things in a real-life, for mediocre things is an imaginary one; more importantly, they demand you do the same.”

7

“I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”

8

“Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.”

9

“Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.”

10

“The only reason why God created man is that he was disappointed with the monkey.”

11

“The common eye sees only the outside of things, and judges by that, but the seeing eye pierces through and reads the heart and the soul, finding their capacities which the outside didn’t indicate or promise, and which the other kind couldn’t detect.”

12

“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”

13

“Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.”

14

“There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.”

15

“Circumstances make man, not man circumstances.”

16

“People who always feel jolly, no matter where they are or what happens to them—who have the organ of hope preposterously developed—who are endowed with an unconcealable sanguine temperament—who never feel concerned about the price of corn—and who cannot, by any possibility, discover any but the bright side of a picture—is very apt to go to extremes, and exaggerate with 40-horse microscopic power.”

17

“Be good, and you will be lonesome.”

18

“Plain question and plain answer make the shortest road out of most perplexities.”

19

“I have been studying the traits and dispositions of the “lower animals.”

20

“Never try to teach a pig to sing, you waste your time, and you annoy the pig.”

21

“Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.”

22

“The lack of money is the root of all evil.”

23

“Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very’; your editor will delete it, and the writing will be just as it should be.”

24

“The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.”

25

“Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.”

26

“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.”

27

“Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them, the rest of us could not succeed.”

28

“If it’s your job to eat a frog, it’s best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it’s your job to eat two frogs, it’s best to eat the biggest one first.”

29

“Life is short, break the rules. Forgive quickly, kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that makes you smile.”

30

“Put all your eggs in one basket — and watch that basket!”

31

“When a humorist ventures upon the grave concerns of life, he must do his job better than another man or he works harm to his cause.”

32

“Let us endeavour so to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.”

33

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.”

34

“Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it.”

35

“When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.”

36

“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt.”

37

“Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.”

38

“Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.”

39

“It is easier to stay out than get out.”

40

“A lie can run around the world six times while the truth is still trying to put on its pants.”

41

“It is better to deserve honours and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.”

42

“Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.”

43

“To string incongruities and absurdities together in a wandering and sometimes purposeless way, and seem innocently unaware that they are absurdities, is the basis of the American art if my position is correct.”

44

“Hunger is the handmaid of genius.”

45

“Man was made at the end of the week’s work when God was tired.”

46

“A man cannot be comfortable without his approval.”

47

“I always did hate for anyone to know what my plans or hopes or prospects were—for, if I kept people in ignorance in these matters, no one could be disappointed but myself, if they were not realised.”

48

“No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon.”

49

“Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.”

50

“Words are only painted fire; a look is fire itself.”

51

“Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else.”

52

“Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to Adam, the first great benefactor of our race. He brought death into the world.”

53

“The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”

54

“It’s good sportsmanship not to pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.”

55

“The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.”

56

“Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.”

57

“One is apt to overestimate beauty when it is rare.”

58

“There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one: keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.”

59

“What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.”

60

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”

61

“Necessity is the mother of taking chances.”

62

“A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.”

63

“How empty is theory in the presence of fact!”

64

“When all else fails, write what your heart tells you. You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.”

65

“The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.”

66

“A half-truth is the most cowardly of lies.”

67

“Men are easily dealt with—but when you get the women started, you are in for it, you know.”

68

“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.”

69

“My mind changes often … People who have no mind can easily be steadfast and firm, but when a man is loaded down to the guards with it, as I am, every heavy sea of foreboding or inclination, maybe of indolence, shifts the cargo.”

70

“I make it a rule never to smoke while I’m sleeping.”

71

“I am as prompt as a clock if I only know the day a thing is wanted—otherwise I am a natural procrastinaturalist.”

72

“When we remember that we are all mad, the mysteries disappear, and life stands explained.”

73

“Familiarity breeds contempt – and children.”

74

“To succeed in life, you need two things ignorance and confidence.”

75

“I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell – you see, I have friends in both places.”

76

“Go to heaven for the climate, hell for the company.”

77

“I have never taken any exercise, except sleeping and resting, and I never intend to take any.”

78

“The lottery is a government institution and the poor its best patrons.”

79

“Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy, you must have someone to divide it with.”

80

“Why shouldn’t truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction. after all, has to make sense.”

81

“Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.”

82

“With courage, you will dare to take risks, have the strength to be compassionate, and the wisdom to be humble. Courage is the foundation of integrity.”

83

“It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.”

84

“Golf is a good walk, spoiled.”

85

“When you find yourself on the side oft he majority, you should pause and reflect.”

86

“Virtue has never been as respectable as money.”

87

“Give every day the chance to become the most beautiful of your life.”

88

“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.”

89

“When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear.”

90

“Do not put off till tomorrow what can be put off till day-after-tomorrow just as well.”

91

“Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you would rather have talked.”

92

“There’s one way to find out if a man is honest: ask him; if he says yes, you know he’s crooked.”

93

“If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.”

94

“Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.”

95

“Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.”

96

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.”

97

“If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you’re misinformed.”

98

“It is good to obey all the rules when you’re young, so you’ll have the strength to break them when you’re old.”

99

“Nothing is made in vain, but the fly came near it.”

100

“Buy land. They’re not making it anymore.”

101

“It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.”

102

“Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.”

103

“Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.”

104

“Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.”

105

“Now and then we had the hope that if we lived and were good. God would permit us to be pirates.”

106

“George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie.”

107

“I would rather have my ignorance than another man’s knowledge because I have got so much more of it.”

108

“We chase phantoms half the days of our lives. It is well if we learn wisdom even then, and save the other half.”

109

“I can live for two months on a good compliment.”

110

“Nothing so needs reforming as other people’s habits.”

111

“When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade without further introduction.”

112

“You believe in a book that has talking animals, wizards, witches, demons, sticks turning into snakes, burning bushes food falling from the sky, people walking on water, and all sorts of magical absurd and primitive stories, and you say that we are the ones that need help.”

113

“There are lies, damned lies and statistics.”

114

“I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.”

115

“Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial ‘we.’”

116

“It’s not the size of the dog in the fight; it’s the size of the fight in the dog.”

117

“Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.”

118

“The public is merely a multiplied ‘me.’”

119

“Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.”

120

“There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.”

121

“There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist, except an old optimist.”

122

“Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.”

123

“Praise is well, a compliment is well, but affection – that is the last and final and most precious reward that any man can win, whether by character or achievement.”

124

“A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.”

125

“I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.”

126

“When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries of life disappear, and life stands explained.”

127

“Classic: A book which people praise and don’t read.”

128

“A man’s character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.”

129

“Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.”

130

“When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.”

131

“A successful book is not made of what is in it, but of what is left out of it.”

132

“All generalisations are false, including this one.”

133

“Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.”

134

“Never argue with a fool. An onlooker may not be able to tell the difference.”

135

“The heart is the real fountain of youth.”

136

“What’s the use you learning to do right, when it’s troublesome to do right and ain’t no trouble to do wrong, and the wages is just the same?”

137

“Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered – either by themselves or by others.”

138

“Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”

139

“The people who are great are not those who try to belittle your ambitions but those who make you feel that you too can become great.”

140

“It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.”

141

“Love is a madness; if thwarted, it develops fast.”

142

“In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.”

143

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”

144

“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”

145

“Pity is for the living. Envy is for the dead.”

146

“Out of all the things I have lost, I miss my mind the most.”

147

“Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear, and the blind can see.”

148

“There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.”

149

“Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.”

150

“Who would find out that I am a natural fool if I always kept cool and never let nature come to the surface? Nobody.”

151

“If we would learn what the human race is at the bottom, we need only observe it in election times.”

152

“The man with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.”

153

“Thunder is good, thunder is impressive, but it is lightning that does the work.”

154

“If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.”

155

“After a few months’ acquaintances with European “coffee,”

156

“The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for.”

157

“Its name is Public Opinion. It is held in reverence. It settles everything. Some think it is the voice of God.”

158

“Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.”

159

“Do not tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don’t tell them where they know the fish.”

160

“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”

161

“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.”

162

“Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.”

163

“Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.”

164

“The more you explain it, the more I don’t understand it.”

165

“The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.”

166

“I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.”

167

“Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear, and the blind can see.”

168

“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born, and the day you find out why.”

169

“Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.”

170

“Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing the matter with this, except that it ain’t so.”

171

“Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.”

172

“Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; the truth isn’t.”

173

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts.”

174

“Frankness is a jewel; only the young can afford it.”

175

“The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.”

176

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So, throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbour. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

177

“A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.”

178

“There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.”

179

“Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.”

180

“Always do right; this will gratify some people and astonish the rest.”

181

“The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.”

182

“Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.”

183

“Never put off till tomorrow what may be done the day after tomorrow just as well.”

184

“Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts or happenings. It consists mainly of the storm of thoughts that is forever flowing through one’s head.”

185

“Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.”

186

“A human being has a natural desire to have more of a good thing than he needs.”

187

“A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.”

188

“Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”

189

“Be virtuous, and you will be eccentric.”

190

“All good things arrive unto them that wait – and don’t die in the meantime.”

191

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started.”

192

“Honesty is the best policy – when there is money in it.”

193

“Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.”

194

“Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other so that we can have some conversation.”

195

“Explore. Dream. Discover.”

196

“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”

197

“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.”

198

“One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.”

199

“Don’t wait. The time will never be just right.”

200

“It’s better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt.”

201

“There are no grades of vanity. There are only grades of ability in concealing it.”

202

“It is wiser to find out than to suppose.”

203

“Do something every day that you don’t want to do. This is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.”

204

“All kings is mostly rapscallions.”

205

“The very ink with which all history is written is merely fluid prejudice.”

206

“Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.”

207

“The finest clothing made is a person’s skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this.”

208

“Man will do many things to get himself loved. He will do all things to get himself envied.”

209

“A habit cannot be tossed out the window; it must be coaxed down the stairs a step at a time.”

210

“It is curious- curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.”

211

“Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.”

212

“Be careless in your dress if you must, but keep a tidy soul.”

213

“Name the greatest of all, inventors. Accidents.”

214

“Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.”

215

“Modesty died when clothes were born.”

216

“The human race is a race of cowards, and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.”

217

“The secret source of humour itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humour in heaven.”

218

“A good marriage is the union of the two good forgiveness.”

219

“Will courage you will dare to risks, have the strength to be compassionate, and the wisdom to be humble. courage is the foundation of integrity.”

220

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”

221

“There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.”

222

“The trouble ain’t that there are too many fools, but that the lightning ain’t distributed right.”

223

“It is by the goodness of God that in our country, we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either.”

224

“What a man wants with religion in these breadless times, surpasses my comprehension.”

225

“If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later.”

226

“Censorship is telling a man he can’t have a steak just because a baby can’t chew it.”

227

“To believe yourself brave is to be brave; it is the one only essential thing.”

228

“Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.”

229

“My books are water; those of the great geniuses are wine — everybody drinks water.”

230

“It is better to have old second-hand diamonds than none at all.”

231

“Prosperity is the best protector of principle.”

232

“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d druther not.”

233

“To get the full value of joy, you must have someone to divide it with.”

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